yes, i do love to speak. though i would not consider myself a good speaker. my thinking pattern is not on the linear side and masking the unintended period of silence with filler words is admittedly overbearing. the trembling of my voice makes me forget to breathe when speaking for what feels like almost too long. or is it the other way around?
despite all that, telling the story behind my fish hyperfixation feels like a perfectly rehearsed performance. reciting the passages with no stutter, precisely pausing in the right moments to build up the anticipation. i have caught myself, on multiple occasions, quoting the same jokes. it works.
and yet, i am here, finding it quite hard to simply write it down. struggling to recall the order of thoughts i so religiously follow.
as much as i love to overcomplicate things, this one is simple. there was never a need to write it down. there was never an urge to say it just for the sake of saying it.